I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I can't turn off my feet"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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