He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
