He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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