Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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