Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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