so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
