alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize