Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
