Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
