Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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