who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
