I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There r osticjed everywhere
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I need a beard to bite.
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