He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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