dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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