Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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