I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
