Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
