Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
