I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
