mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
