i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
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