we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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