If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
