Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
