Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
