I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
