Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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