Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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