You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just made my gag reflex go away.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
