I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
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If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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