i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize