fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
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Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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