I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
