after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We left the knife in your bed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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