Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
