You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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