i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
