it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
