just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize