I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.