at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.