i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
