Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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