Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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