I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
