why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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