Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
