Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize