He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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