turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
