He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
