a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
