Do you still have your period?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
