There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize