she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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