No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
