I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
