After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
