RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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