dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
